Unwanted Flashbacks...

Tommorrow, Tuesday, Braden is having a surgery to fix an umbilical hernia that he has had since birth. It is  a very routine surgery that we have been putting off for, well forever.  It should take less than an hour in the OR and the surgeon said the actual repair only takes him about fifteen minutes.  But there is always that little nudger in the back of my mind- what about his heart? The cardiologist of course cleared him for the surgery - although he listed him as a 'mild risk'. Mild risk? Don't tell me that! I know he is just super cautious with Braden, which I love, but doesn't he know I can't take Zanax when I am pregnant?! So we went to this little preop teaching class they have at Banner Desert. They show the kids a movie, let them walk to the OR, see the post op area, ride in a wheel chair and then they show them all the stuff that will be used on them.  So Braden left that class with a scrub hat, a surgery coloring book, a surgical mask and then they have them pick a mask. It's the ones that they will breathe in while they fall asleep in surgery. It's pretty cute, they put scented goo in there so it smells good (Braden chose bubblegum, not my fav.) All in all he did really well. When they demonstrated some things that would happen she asked Braden to recall what they had called it. First they 'gave the arm a big hug'--Braden's answer, "You're taking my blood pressure" Second they 'checked out the heart' Braden's answer "You are getting my O2 sats" and Third they 'checked how hot you are' and Braden says, "Oh you are just taking my temperature, I do this all the time."  It was so funny.  So why is it, through the whole thing I am playing a slide show in my head. When I see him put the mask to his face I flashed back to the PCH PICU, the first time Braden was in heart failure, and required oxygen and got his feeding tube.
Then as they showed us where we would say bye and they would go with the nurses to the OR, I was remembering that I have not just done this once, but three times. The first time was easiest, since I was exhausted beyond all belief and my good doc's game me a anti anxiety medicine. The second time I was a basket case, since it was for his first open heart and I knew the surgery was going to be 10 hours or more and really risky. The third time I think I was in 'get it done' mode. Plus Braden was on really good drugs  that made him loopy and hilarious to watch- he even said "OOOOOoh" when the OR doors all swung open.And while I am glad we won't be sitting in this waiting room again for hours and hours and hours. I am even more glad that afterward we get to take him right home, instead of having to worry about all this for 3 weeks after...

Keep us in your prayers and wish us luck! I will post an update with pictures tomorrow!