All right all you Supermom's out there in the blogging world, I need your help. Berkley, joy of joys, is giving me fits. He has never been a 'good' sleeper by any means, but the last month or so has been out of control. He is waking up in the night so many times, I don't even try to keep track. About middle of July he was finally only waking up once about 4 am for a bottle. Then all of a sudden he started waking at 2 am too. Now in the last month it is nearly every 45 minutes. Honestly. I am at my wits end. I am beyond tired. I need help. See, I am willing to admit it, I am not the perfect has it all together Mom. But I haven't had at least 6 hours of consecutive sleep since Rusty & I went to Miami, and that was in April! So, first I will tell you our routine and then what I have tried. - 7pm - Dinner (1 or 2 size 2 baby foods)
- 730 pm -Bath and baby massage
- 8 pm-Bottle and to bed
And then it starts... usually about an hour or two (if I am lucky) after he is first put down I will hear him crying. Generally, he has not been able to find his paci and with my help after we find one (of the 6 or so floating around in there), he nods back off. Then about 45 minutes later. I always try giving him the paci first, then pat his back and if he still isn't settled down I will pick him up. It only takes a minute or two and he is out cold again. For a while at least. I have gotten into the (very bad) habit of staying up until 12:30 or 1 am because I know if I go to bed earlier than that I will make several trips down the hall. Here are the things I have tried...
- Putting a humidifier in his room
- Turning a fan on in his room
- Nightlight on/ Nightlight off
- Motrin before bed
- Benedryl before bed (no change)
- Bottles during the night
- Sleeping in my bed (still wakes often)
- Letting him 'cry it out'- which each time no matter the duration (1 min or 5) results in puking and a REALLY enjoyable clean up for me
- Maybe he hot, turning down the A/C
- Maybe he is cold, covering with a blanket
- Checking and rechecking for ear infections- and no he's fine
- Turning off the monitor, to no avail- he is just down the hall and has Very good lungs
I am honestly not a fan of the "cry it out" method. One, because I was "trained" not to let Braden cry it out as a baby because of his heart. I knew exactly what it did to his blood pressure and oxygenation rate. As a result, I really hate imagining even a totally healthy baby doing that. Plus the pathetic look on their face as he rattles his crib like a little angry monkey- it kills me. I think to myself, I went through so much with Braden (who by the way still wakes up in the night, but does at least finally fall asleep with out our help) and worked so hard to get Berk that I just have a soft spot for them crying. You all know the Mommy Guilt I am taking about. Even his daily naps are affected. He used to take three naps and has gone to two, which is normal. But now sometimes he will wake up several times during the naps in the morning. He is also waking up about an hour earlier than usual -at 6:30am and I am SOOO not a morning person. So, short of getting on Supernanny (which I have downloaded the form to apply-- twice) I need some new ideas. Is this just one of those phases? Are there any good books I can try? Will he out grow it? Is it a growth spurt, we are prone to leg aches in this family. Should I take him to the pediatrician? Would she laugh if I asked for a kid dose of Ambien? Does he even really need bottles in the night because I swear he is starving. or is it all my fault? I rock him to sleep, and I am trying to do it for shorter and shorter time and get him in his bed drowsy, just like all the books say...but that doesn't happen overnight.
My newest theory is this, in the preexistence I must not have been paying attention when we were choosing characteristics for our kids. Did I think, "Oh, I don't want my kids to sleep - I would miss them just too much". Or, did I just plain forget to check the box that grants you babies who sleep through the night by 6 weeks and are a piece o' cake? And I definitely shouldn't have opted into the Automatic Baby Wakeruper, that is triggered by my head hitting the pillow. Dang, I was probably not even paying attention, must have been multi-tasking or something. So, for all of you who call me in the morning, afternoon or evening and ask, "Did I wake you?" The awnser is always "No, my kids did that and that is why I sound like this." 
I am so lucky to have a very understanding husband who gets my need for sleep. I get to sleep in every weekend morning and generally get a nap those days too. Even last night at 1am he came down the hall, took Berk from me and told me to get some sleep. Thanks Rusty, those 3 hours were a life saver, and I hope you didn't fall asleep at work.
Hopefully soon (with all ya'lls help) I can hang this sign on my front door, instead of the first one...
This week wasn't all bad however, even with no sleep, a broken hot water heater and a dishwasher on the fritz, I got to sub in my friend Marci's Bunco group last night. Where I not only met some new friends, but I rolled 2 Bunco's-- watch out girls in my regular group, I am already warmed up for Thursday!
21 comments:
Is he getting enough naptime during the day? It's strange, but the more they sleep during the day, the better they seem to sleep at night - the whole "sleep begets sleep" deal. Even when Sammy naps until late - 5pm or so - he still goes to sleep at a decent time.
We switched him to a "big boy" bed at 18 months and that seems to have helped... we play a soothing cd on repeat all night, and the white noise of the AC helps too. We leave water where he can reach it, but he still wakes and wants us or to come into our bed. I don't know the last time we had more than 6 consecutive hours of sleep!
Otherwise, I wish I had an answer for you. We're still working on getting him to sleep - I'm anti-CIO too (Sammy's HLHS, so we did the whole "don't let him cry EVER!" routine as well), even though I know it has worked for some people and in a fit of desperation, you do what you have to I guess.
BTW, found you through a comment you left on a blog I found while doing a search for HLHS.
Poor Caryn,
I wish I had some better advice...I was going to say cry it out, but if it always ends in puking...I am not sure I would want to do that either. That is the only thing that got Austin sleeping 12 hours at night. I am sure there is another solution but I am sorry to say I don't have it. Rusty is so nice to let you sleep on the weekends! Good luck...
I know I have told you several of my ideas on the phone,I forgot to mention trying to make the boy super tired before bed-- walking around a lot w/him, throwing a ball around etc.
But, I have to say Draven had several non-sleeping nights, and I'm afraid it's just the doggone family metabolism. He did grow out of it. Plus, I hear sleep for us moms is highly overrated!
Robyn
I only have 2 suggestions, 1st when he does wake up don't feed him, or he will think that he can wake up whenever he wants to and be feed! 2nd, when you go in there after he has been crying try to calm him down by patting his back if that doesn't work pick him up, but don't let him fall asleep, he needs to fall asleep on his own. He is probably been awakened by something and is not able to put himself back to sleep. My daughter is 6 months old and she, last month, started messin with her schedule, it took about a week then she came back around!
Maybe he needs one longer nap in the middle of the day rather than two?
He will come around, try these things, I am sure you have. Hope some of this helps, sorry!
I totally get it!! Peyt is doing the same thing!! But he is totally getting teeth!!! You have done everything. Good Luck girl, I'm sure I'll be contacting you down the road for advice.:)
All I can say is just Pray.
I wish I had some great advice to give you. I agree I don't like the CIO method. I don't know if you have heard of Ask Miss Angie's Blog. It is a great little blog that gives advice and answers to parent's questions. Here is her website www.askmissangie.blogspot.com. I did see there was a post on 6/21/2007 with some suggestions on getting you baby to sleep through the night. Good Luck!
That sucks! I will talk to you tomorrow and see if I can give you any tips.
Caryn- I agree with sarah. he knows that if he cries you will go in their and pick him up. All of her suggestions are good. I would say let him cry and he might puke the first few nights,(which will suck cleaning) but letting him cry like that will make him more tired and he might stay asleep longer. And you will of only gotten up once instead of several times. He might only puke that one night. They say if you let them cry and learn how to fall asleep on their own, that it only takes 3 days. But you probably now all this because you are super mom!! Oh ya I tried calling you i am going to be at bunco.
im sorry caryn. i wish i had some advice for you. thats no fun. hopefully soon that little stinker will sleep!
Oh Caryn I am so sorry! I wish I had great advice, but I fear that I will end up with a Berk since Emery was way too easy with sleep and there is no way that will repeat itself. I have heard really good things about the book the Happiest Baby on the Block. I agree with a lot of the advice, not to feed him in the night (it is more of a habit than a need) and to try not to pick him up or rock him to sleep. Good Luck! I wish I was there to help give you a nap sometime.
Hey Caryn,
You and Ariana seem to be going through the same situation. I'm awfully sorry. I guess I have been blessed with two kids who sleep pretty well most of the time, and I hate hearing about kids not sleeping well, 'cause I'm tired all day even with 6 hours of sleep. I know you don't like the cry-it-out method, and it is AWFULLY hard to do, but if Berk is totally healthy, it might just work (as someone said already, you'll have to clean up the vomit, but hopefully that would stop once he got the hang of sleeping; why does he vomit, by the way?). When I was trying to get my Boys to learn to sleep through the night, we had maybe 3 or 4 nights of shrieking on their part, and it was miserable, but after those few nights, they got the hang of it. I also think you should try not giving into his demands for a bottle during sleeping hours. At this point, he's probably thinking that he's doing what he's supposed to be doing, but he really doesn't need the food during those hours (he's almost a year, right?). When we were teaching the Boys to sleep, we'd start by letting them cry for 5 minutes, then we'd go in and check on them, rub their back, sing to them, hold their hand, then we'd leave without picking them up. Then we'd let them cry for 10 minutes and go in and do the same thing, then let them cry for 15 minutes, etc. If, after checking on them after the 15-minute mark, they were still howling, then we'd go in and rock them for a few minutes. It's totally tough, but it worked with them. When they'd go through their phases of not sleeping, we got a little CD player and a CD of lullabies that they loved, and that seemed to help. (Now they've moved on and want to listen to Josh Groban at night...). Anyway, Berk's puking might stop if you stop giving him the bottle at night. I don't know. This is tough. All I can say is, come visit and I'll take care of him when he wakes up... Rusty's great to take them on weekends. Good luck. I hope something works.
So sorry you are so miserable Caryn! I agree with the Jessica comment. Usually they only cry for the first 2 or 3 nights! And then its bliss after that. All 3 of mine did it. They say ALL babies are capable of sleeping 10 -12 hours a night its just that the mom needs to help them figure it out! So everyones got advice but do what works for you or try something new! Good luck!!
I'm so sorry to hear this! Once Anna was eating enough calories during the day, I was a stickler on her feedings at night. Only one feeding at 4am or so. She just had to cry it out, but it worked for her. I used the Ferber Method to help her sleep through the night and it worked like a charm on her. She would also get hysterical (but never throw up), and going in after increasingly longer periods helped her.
Also, maybe you should try putting him down earlier. Hard to believe, but sleep begets sleep. When Anna was a baby she went to bed at 6:30 pm. Maybe he isn't getting enough sleep. The nights I put Anna down later were the nights that were rough for us.
Good luck and pray like crazy.
The responses you've got so far are so long I didn't want to take the time to read them so sorry if it's repeated advice. I wish I had the majic answer for you but I know every baby is different. I'm not a fan of the cry it out thing either. When Anaston turned 4 months she turned into a light sleeper with her naps so I got her a white noise machine...made the world of a difference! Get it on ebay. In the search bar, put "shll noise maker". It's got like 8 or 9 noise options. Besides that, sometimes her sleeping patterns have changed whether it was growth spurts, teething, etc. I just do my best to take care of the problem, i.e. motrin, teething tablets, orajel etc. I make sure she goes to bed with a full belly. Bathing her before bed helps her sleep better too. I plan my lif around her naps. I'm sure to her two naps at an hour and a half ateast at a time.If she wakes up early, I put her back down. She's happier when she gets her naps and is sure to get a better nights sleep whe she does. Get the shell noise maker, it will change your life! And buy the adaptor for it! Only a little over 20 bucks for the two things together I think. I take it everywhere with me. I plug it in at home for her naps. If I'm out on the go I put battries in it and turn it on and stick it in the stroller or in the car by her car seat or wherever she falls asleep. That's my number one piece of advice. Hope this helps!
Both my kids started doing this when their molars came in. Could he be teething?
Wow thats a lot of advice.But I would fill his crib w/ paci's. That way he find one if that is what he is looking for. Don't pick him up. He knows thats how to get you in his room. Just pat his back. And it is ok to let them cry. He will only do it a day or two, then he will learn. He has you trained. Now you have to train him.
There is a lot of great advise here, I think it will all help you train him back into a routine. I will add one thing, Hyland's tablets. In the medicine eisle (most stores) for teething and I think sleeping. Natural and I hear they are great...goodluck and hang in there:)
"Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. It is an absolute miracle cure - a little bit brutal for a couple of days, but it works super fast. Just look at my kids - they all sleep through the night!!
Liz
Hey Caryn, it's probably weird hearing from me, but I was talking to Kirsten about how tired I always am and she said that you were having a similar problem with your kids and to check out your blog to see what you had discovered. My biggest problem isn't my daughter, who is 10-months old. She usually only wakes up about once a night and my pediatrician makes me get up with her at night for feedings because she is so small for her age and needs the extra nutrition. It's my older boy, Forrest who is turning four in a month, that has ALWAYS given me grief over sleeping. And just so you know, I tried the crying it out method several times with him and it only worked on a temporary basis. He was sleep through the night for maybe a month, then it was up all through the night again. Then he would get sick with something or another and it would screw everything up. Then about a year and a half ago he started having horrible nightmares and as soon as the sun starts going down he tells us that he doesn't want to go to sleep. He hates sleeping because of his nightmares. To make a long story short, he is nearly four and spends most nights in our bed with us. He usually starts off in his room, but will come crashing through our door crying at about midnight or 1am. For over a year we tried taking him back to his bed, but as soon as we would leave, no matter how deep of a sleep he seemed to be in, he would bolt awake and was once again, in our room. I am so tired all of the time and like you, don't know what else to try. I'm horrible at letting them cry and more than anything just want to comfort them, but I can't keep staying up all night and we certainly don't need our kids in bed with us for the rest of our lives!!! I've even tried making him a bed on our floor so he's close to us without being in bed with us, but that doesn't work very often. If you find any information that both of us could try, please let me know. I've done everything I could think of. My email address is arianabelle@gmail.com And although I feel terrible for you, it's nice to know I'm not the only one having this problem. Every other person I know have their kids asleep at 7 and sleeping at least 12 hours! How would that be? Good luck though and please, let me know if you find anything that works.
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