But this is my real life. And I'm exhausted. Dishes sit in my sink, my carpets need vacuumed SO badly, which is complicated, since our 6th vacuum in 9 years is broken and sitting in the garage. And I spent most of today playing referee between two of my boys who were home sick with runny noses and coughs. The third was was sick too, but since he was too young to jump in and wrestle, he just got EXTRA clingy instead. I swear, some days I feel like I just may fall over by 5pm.
Having to deal with the stress of the break-in hasn't helped. Even when Brenner does sleep I have a hard time falling asleep. Either thinking of other things to add to our home owner's claim, or stressing about keeping Braden's from knowing just how scary what happened was, or just everything.
And just about the time my brain finally shuts down, Brenner wakes again. Now, I have NEVER had good sleepers. Nadda one.
Braden was on a very strict 8, 11, 2, 5 schedule. So, for feeding and medicines we had to wake him every night until he was almost 10 months old and by then it was built in. He still woke up around 2 for years until he finally outgrew it and would wake at other times instead. Now, he finally sleeps ok. Aside from the occasional bad dream, or growing pains. I think he has really benefited from having Berk in his room.
Berkley, man was he hard. When we brought him home, Braden still needed us to lay with him till he fell asleep and was waking up once or twice a night. Rusty is the best tag-team partner ever. I finally begged for sleep advice when my blog was still pretty new and was overwhelmed by every one's support and advice. I finally let him cry it out about 18 months old and he started going to sleep on his own, and staying asleep most nights straight through. Then we went on the cruise and for 2 weeks he was in bed with us, on a loopy schedule and after we got home it was chaos. Things settled down again and then we moved him into a big boy bed, and at the same time he started sharing a room. So we started laying with him. Now he rarely falls asleep with out us and I'd say 4 out of 7 nights wakes up at least once. Again, my tag teamer is great about getting him right back down.
So, I should have known Brenner would be a cruddy sleeper. But deep down I thought "I'm SO due for a good sleeper!" And at first he was. Then he got his first ear infection, and started cutting teeth at 3 months. And between 5 and 6 am (no matter what time he went down for the night) became wake up time. I fall asleep every night with him in my arms. My neck, arms and back can't take it. He goes down the first time in his crib for anywhere between 3-5 hours but after the initial wake up it takes a bottle and rocking or patting to get him back down. But forget about laying him down after that.
Ok, ok, you get my point. Here's my question. He's nearly 5 months old. He still takes 1-2 bottles (and we're talking 8 oz) through the night. I already started him on rice cereal, which I feed 2 times during the day and again right before bed and then a bottle. I am sure that's why he goes the stretch that he does. So my questions are as follows:
- Is he to young to cry it out?
- Does he need to eat that much in the night?
- Does anyone want to take him for a week or so, so I can catch up on sleep?
- Does anyone wanna come potty train Berk???
Kidding about that last one or two, but not really... I guess the feeding in the night thing goes back to Braden. It was crucial he ate as often as possible. And that was how I was wired. So I feel like if he was waking up and I could get him back down, in a reasonable amount of time without needing the bottle I would. But his cry tells the mommy in me he's hungry. So what do I do?
Honestly, I'm spent. It's wearing on Rusty too, because he gets up with Brenner at 5 so I can sleep from 5-7 when we all get up for the school rush mayhem. And most nights, that is the longest stretch of sleep I get. I can't nap in the day. A) I'm still leery about it being alone since the robbery and B) Berk loves to poke me on the couch as I rest and tell me he's poopy-- always about 3 minutes after I zonk. And C) I always feel a little guilty about sleeping, even if my kids are, cause I know there are other things I should be doing.
I've hear about Baby Wise, but no one has the book I can borrow, and I don't know if I'm too late to start. I seriously have a dozen different baby sleep books and don't have the energy to read any of them- plus none of them helped with Berk...
Can you sense my desperation? I openly welcome advice, and arms willing to hold Mr Cranky. I laugh that my kids nicknames are "Sugar" "Pumpkin" and "Stinker" because this third kid has really done a number on me. You think you are finally getting a hang of the Mommy thing and then BAM- you get a totally different baby. I tell him all the time "It's a good thing you're cute."
17 comments:
I am so sad to hear you still aren't getting rest. I don't think 5 months is too young to cry it out. I'm pretty sure I finally let Rylie cry around 4 or 5 months. I finally read something that basically said as long as you know they aren't hungry or cold and they are in a safe place, it is fine to let them cry. So I did. I turned off the monitor because I knew if I heard her I'd give in. A couple of nights and that was all it took.
I hear you on the back, arm, etc hurting. Jace stays 3 hours in his sleeper and invariably spends the rest of the night in my arms. It doesn't make for quality sleep.
I don't really have much advice because in many ways I feel like I'm in the same boat. I have never let Kyson cry it out because it worries me too much since he turns blue if he cries very hard. He is almost two and wakes up two-three times every night. It is tough teaching kids to sleep through the night!
Caryn, My friend Traci is the BABY WISE genius. I need to put you two in contact. She will feel your pain as she hasn't slept in months, maybe years!
Dr Yin had me get the book "Baby 411" it was the best money I ever spent and has an excellent section on sleep...i re-read it every time I have a baby just to remind myself to be stron:) And I let Olivia cry it out at 5 months and she has been sleeping through the night ever since. Call me up and you can borrow it.
I wish I had advice for you but ironically I am in the same boat and was going to get on my blog and make a post about it tonight myself. Lila is 7 months old though and still wakes up several times a night and the only way to get her back to sleep is to feed her. I tried letting her cry it out but after two nights of pure crying gave in. Let me know if anything works for you, and I will be thinking of ya at 2am!
baby wise is awesome! seriously, it works! and no, its not too late for you to start! if you need me to i will mail you my book, seriously it will save your sanity! :)
You should definitely let him cry it out. You are being affected negatively WAY more than he is by not getting sleep. In fact, it sounds like he is getting plenty of food during the day and could/should easily sleep all night long no problem. Maybe start small by taking out the first feeding at night for a week or two and letting him cry it out. Then eventually the other feeding. I have a 3 month old and know it is hard. I am going through this right now. She only wakes up maybe once to eat around 4 or 5am. We have family visiting this weekend and after they leave I am going to let her cry it out. I'll let you know how it goes. Just remember it takes 3 or 4 days for them to figure it out, so don't give up after just 1 or 2 nights of crying. Be strong and get some sleep!!!
I've never known the right answer. It's so frustrating, I totally get it. Just know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
And cute he is! I read baby wise. And "healthy sleep habits, happy child". It was really hard for me to make the Queen sleep. Because she is the Queen. She is demanding and gets what she wants. She was also my only tiny baby. She is still tiny, and I told myself she still NEEDED to eat in the middle of the night until she was one. I finally started making her cry it out around then. my other kids did it between 6-9 months. With my kids that was the only way. I tried to be nice but it didn't work. AFter a few nights they give it up and it is SHEER RELIEF! Totally worth it. You are happier, they are happier. You have three kids. You need to function. He is a big kid.(as your arms, shoulders, and head can attest)Turn off the monitor and get your sleep on! That said, to my sisters she is still the Queen. If I leave her with them for naptime or nightime she thinks she needs to be rocked to sleep again....;)
I'm so sad you're in that stage. I have the baby wise book if you want to borrow it. But let me tell you that I read it like a million times and parts of it are really good and helpful and other parts make you feel like a looser because your baby doesn't do what they say. I'm all about helping a baby learn to sleep on there own and my kids are good sleepers now. They have been on the same night time routine since they were born, but I did not have the guts to let them scream. I tried it once with Reed for thirty minutes and I ended up crying so hysterically and pulling Dana out of law school classes to talk me through my nervous breakdown. All babies are different and 5 months is still so tiny. You have to do what is right for you. Send Brayden on over to play and that will at least get rid of one kid for awhile.
I feel your pain. I say no he isn't too young to cry it out. And I would say there is NO WAY he could be that hungry. I am a big believer in "cluster" feeding, which pretty much means I feed B about ever 1 to 1 1/2 hours in the evenings to make sure she is nice a full. Sometimes she only eats for 5 min and sometimes she'll eat the full 30. (still nursing) But when I do that she'll sleep at least 8 hours. But even if she wakes up in the middle of the night I let her fuss at least 10 minutes before I go get her. Which she usually always goes to sleep. Good Luck!
Sorry no advice... I am about at my wits end myself with my Stinker! I agree it's a good thing they're cute, cuz more than once I've considere (for a split second) tossing her out the back door!! Haha! I hope you get something worked out soon! Hang in there!
I agree with what everyone has already said. Let him cry it out. Turn off the monitor. Thats what I did. Jack was/is the worst sleeper!!! It only takes about a week of pure hell to get to some sort of bliss. And I think, by the looks of him :) he isn't starving, so I don't think he needs to be eating that much in the night! Hang in there!!
I let my four oldest kids cry it out at four months. Young, yes, but we both needed to get on a rountine. It was the best thing I ever did. Don't get me wrong, it was HORRIBLE for about three nights in a row. HORRIBLE. And man, these kids can scream. But it was SOOOOO worth it to get good sleep after that.
Good luck!!
Bless you and Rusty - hope you find something that works for you so all of you can get some rest! Good thing our memories dim with age - can't "remember" going through this but do remember two little kids (oldest ones) being put on the floor to sleep after we decided our double bed wasn't made for four. Think that cured them.
Oh, man, I'm so sorry! I read your more recent posts where he is sick. I hope he gets better soon, and starts sleeping better for your sake! Being a mom is exhausting enough as it is, and without sleep, yikes!
I know I'm slow, but I still wanted to add: Avoid Baby Wise at all costs. It does have some good info in it, but you can get the same good info from other more reliable sources. I was not impressed at all with that book.
That said, he should be able to make it at least 6-7 hours at this age. I know when my girls got to the point they were sleeping 6 hours it felt heavenly for me to get that much sleep. I also let my girls cry it out pretty early, because I didn't wake up to them due to sheer exhaustion. If they were persistent Ray would wake me up. It didn't take too long for them to be sleeping long enough for me to feel rested.
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